The Joy of the Journey

Confession time - my kids will never be the perfect 'nth' graders. My Kindergartener doesn't take naps. My third grader doesn't know the rules of kickball. My seventh grader has never yet been able to find her locker. (Sure, she doesn't have one, but still...) My husband and I decided long ago that we weren't trying to make the best 6, 8, or 12 year olds in the world. Instead, we are trying to prepare our individual children to be the best adults they can be; to help them become the people that God wants them to be. In short, we don't think of it as raising kids. We think of it as raising our kids to be adults. The difference may seem minor, but we believe it's important.

Imagine it this way: there are several roads that lead to the same destination - adulthood. In this analogy, the modern incarnation of public education in America would be represented by a caravan of RVs. The caravans themselves could represent school districts, school buildings, or even individual class groups. Regardless of which grouping you choose to imagine, the result would be pretty much identical - teachers and administrators in the lead, with individual family RVs filling in behind. Everyone would be on the same route, at the same pace, stopping at the same periodic checkpoints, on roads chosen long ago and maintained by educational professionals, legislators, and state officials.

Now, I'm not dogging on public schools here. Notice, my analogy still provides an efficient, effective, pleasant trip for those involved. Families are included. They're part of the picture, and along for the ride. You could even imagine the soup suppers and baseball games that really exist in strong school districts and communities as the campfire sing-a-longs and marshmallow roasts in my example. Everyone is in it together. Those in the lead have experience with the trip. The checkpoints give regular opportunities to ensure that all the equipment and passengers are in good shape, and that no one got accidentally left behind at the last rest stop The path is well established, and proven.. All in all, it's a good, safe trip, and I don't think anyone should judge those who choose to take this route. It's not, however, the experience that we wanted for and with our kids.

For home schoolers, the GPS route isn't what we're looking for. Call it a flaw in our nature, but we often purposefully choose the harder options in life precisely because they're harder, and we see intrinsic value in that. (We're a quirky bunch - some of us more than others.) Some home schoolers take the state highways that parallel the interstates, and often use the checkpoints provided. They may choose to join the caravan for a portion of each day, some part of each year, or even for years at a time. Their mode of transport varies a bit from the RVs, but their scenery, pace and style are very similar to the public school folks.

Others stick to blacktops off the beaten path, enjoying the quietness of the small towns, the slower pace, and the suburban and rural scenery along the way. They might occasionally glimpse the caravan, lumbering by, but choose to stick to their own routes. However, don't worry. They're not alone or isolated. There are approximately two million home schoolers in the United States. The majority of them are the blacktop travelers. Their trips are far from lonely. You'd be surprised how many such families you'd find hanging out together in diners and museums across the country - both literally, and figuratively. These families find opportunities to be with others, but also savor their time together just as individual family units. These are the road trippers who sing in their mini vans, pack coolers filled with snacks, and are eager to take day trips and make frequent stops along the way.

Then there are the heartiest and most hard-core of all home schoolers. They are the dirt roaders, the backpackers, the cabin-dwellers. They work to make learning a rugged adventure - blazing their own trails, marching up mountainsides, listening to the sounds of nature through their dew-covered tents. Their habits, practices, and philosophies couldn't be more different from the caravans of well-starched families in their shiny RVs. But (and here's the important part) they're going to end up at the same place as everyone else. And, probably, around the same time, too, give or take a year. In fact, they (like the other wanderers and adventure seekers, be they the back roads or back woods types) will probably get their sooner than their streamlined counterparts.

So, if we all end up in the same place, at about the same time anyway, why choose a different path? Why swim upstream? Why face the endless questions that come with doing things differently than the norm? I'll tell you why - because the trip itself matters.

It matters because it means more time to get to know my children, and to have them get to know me.

It matters because traveling in a pack often leads to pack mentality, which is great for wild animals, but not so great for human beings.

It matters because there is a whole lot of world out there beyond the interstates, and seeing as much of it as possible is important.

It matters because I want my children to be adventurous and free-spirited in their own lives, but can never expect them to do so if I don't model it.

It matters because I want my children to determine their own checkpoints in life to judge whether or not they're on the right path, and not rely on the criteria that others determine for them.

It matters, most of all, because the joy of the journey is sometimes the most important part of the whole trip - even more so than the destination itself.

So, we'll keep exploring together; checking out dusty dives and side-road sights. Occasionally our path will intersect the main roads, and I will see the RVs filled with happy, perfect 'nth' graders who know how to take naps, play kickball, and find their lockers. I'm happy for them, and wish them well. But, I'm awfully glad that we chose to take the road less traveled, and I'm planning on thoroughly enjoying each and every mile of the trip.