Everything You've Heard Is True

As someone who's had the privilege of advocating for home schooling families, I've been asked just about every question you can imagine about the inner workings of this mysterious thing called home schooling, and the families who choose to embrace it. Yep. I've discussed curriculum, philosophy, styles, reasons, statistics, and even the dreaded issue of socialization. And, while I always tried to put a positive spin on this growing educational alternative, I have to admit that there is one dirty little secret about home schooling that the naysayers have gotten right. I suppose I might as well share it here, since it's bound to get out anyway. Here goes: the stereotypes about home schooling families are 100%, completely true. Everywhere. Without exception. End of story.

All home schooling moms wear denim, ankle-length jumpers. Since all home schooling families are middle-income and frugal, they sew these jumpers out of remaindered material they buy in bulk. That way there's enough left over to make dresses for the girls in the family as well (all seven of them). The menfolk - that is, every male over the age of ten - are allowed to buy store-bought jeans as long as they aren't too fancy. The younger boys (all six of them) wear homemade pants. You know - because the more remaindered denim you buy, the cheaper the price per yard. The babies (both of them) wear cloth diapers made of the same stuff, too. It's not terribly absorbent, but spending money on any other type is out of the question, since both of the family's 15 passenger vans need tune ups, everyone's violin needs new strings, and the wheat grinder broke last week. Despite all the hardships, everyone in the family (all nineteen of them) somehow keep singing away in beautiful harmony, smiling as they walk down the road like cherubic little stair steps. I hate to admit it, but the long-held stereotype really is true. This is what all home schoolers are like.

Of course, there was that one family I worked with a few years ago. Let's see - Mom and Dad both had PhDs in education. There were a total of nine children in the family. Some were incredibly gifted. Others had profound learning disabilities and delays. Many had a little of both. They all had tremendous fun together. From the various skin tones you could tell that not everyone was biologically related to everyone else. When asked about this, Mom would reply that she couldn't remember who was adopted and who wasn't. It took up too much valuable brain space, you see, that she needed to keep track of voice lesson appointment times, shoe sizes, and who didn't like mayonnaise on their sandwiches. I don't think they owned a wheat grinder, but they were all musical. So, I guess you could say they were still your typical home schooling family after all.

And then there were the people just down the road from me who decided to home school because they were afraid the education and worldview of our local public school was much too conservative, and was going to negatively impact their child's outlook on the world. They said they didn't want their secular humanism tainted by teachers who were privately religious. Too much chance of that sentiment and belief spilling over into what was being taught in the classroom. You know - that mom didn't ever wear jumpers that I recall, but she was frugal. So, I guess you could say that they were still your typical home schooling family after all.

Oh, yes! There was also that family who decide to start home schooling right around the same time that they had a sudden change in a job situation. Something about travel.... That's right - they had given up almost all of their worldly possessions so that all five of them (Mom, Dad, two daughters, and a dog) could live in an RV and ride along with Dad wherever his work took him. I sometimes wondered if they were a tiny bit behind their peers in penmanship, but their geography knowledge was truly remarkable. Of course, there were only two kids in the family, but they did drive a big vehicle. So, I guess you could say that they were still your typical home schooling family after all.

I must admit, I never will forget the family whose son had a chronic heart condition. When he was born, they weren't sure he was even going to survive the first week. Imagine the surprise of their pediatrician when he was still going strong at five years old. I'm sure their extended family wondered a bit at their decision to keep him home for his education. But, it was understandable. After all, his frequent trips to the hospital and all those surgeries would definitely have taken him out of the classroom far more often than would have been acceptable to any teacher other than his mom. By the time he got his final surgery at age 12 - the one that provided a permanent fix to his damaged heart - they were so hooked on home schooling they decided to keep doing it. I can't say that I've ever heard them sing together, let alone harmonize melodically. But, somehow they always managed to keep a smile on their faces no matter what hardships they faced. So, I guess you could say that they were still your typical home schooling family after all.

Well - there you have it. Indisputable evidence that the stereotypes are, sadly, true. Perhaps someday we, as home schoolers, will break the bondage of absolute uniformity and step into the 'real world'. But, that would require owning and watching televisions, occasionally indulging in <gasp> fast food, and allowing our children to play sports and dress in Tshirts and jeans. (NOT the homemade, remaindered denim type, either...) Clearly, we're far too homogeneous of a group for that to ever happen. Still, if I must be lumped in with any bunch, home schoolers are a pretty good one. We somehow manage to find such wonderful self expression, create such unique and self-assured children, and blaze our own distinct trails in life. All that, despite our unchanging sameness. Go figure.